My beautiful friend took Raygen's pictures last weekend and I am absolutely in love with them. It is so amazing to look at my daughter in these pictures and realize how lucky I am. She is the picture of hope, prayer, strength and courage. God blessed her with this life because he created her strong enough to live it. I was blessed to be her Mother because God has a plan for me that I did not see for myself. I don't try to question God's plan anymore. I think I have determined that it will always be impossible to know the "whys" till he wants us to know. Instead I just accept and be very grateful.
These pictures reminds me that I need to make more time for my children. I get so caught up in work, my fitness, my food, doctor appointments, therapy, and just everyday life and there are some days I wonder if I sat down and played with Raygen at all. Those are nights that I crawl into bed with her (she sleeps in a twin) and hold her.
I know that there is no "perfect mom" out there but, if any child deserves one it would be Raygen. She has fought so hard for everything. She continues to fight daily for things that come so easily to every other child and yet she does it with a beautiful smile on her face. The truth being, Raygen knows no different. That in itself is an amazing gift.
My daughter is so funny. Can you believe with frosting, cup cakes, cookies, flour, sprinkles and several other party favors on the table we could get not get her to smile. If there is one thing that could be said about her, it would be that she is stubborn, especially in front of the camera.
I see perfection. God's beautiful creation. My beautiful creation.
Even tossing flour couldn't get a smile :0).....Stubborn!
May I look at this picture, my favorite, and remember how lucky I am. I want to stop and be in the moment. Live in this moment with my daughter. I want to read books to her, play with her, and watch the beautiful smile everyday. I don't want any more days to go by and wonder if I spent any time with Raygen. I want to quit obsessing over my issues and remember that my life now is my children and that is what I always wanted. It just seems so funny to stress so much about a number on a scale when I have this little girl to hold on to. She doesn't care about anything other then me being there, in this moment with her.