Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Reality Check

It seems like we have been living a dream lately.  The reality of Raygen being sick has been on the back burner.  We have been living our life as a family of 4.  I have laid off putting the o2 monitor on her at night and have just been enjoying her.  Enjoying life.  Well last night Randy and I had a reality check.  Raygen has been fighting this cold for a few weeks now.  Her cough sounds horrible and last night she had such a hard time sleeping.  Every time she coughs she gags.  Its so sad and so hard to watch and terrifying all at the same time.  So our reality check came when I decided to hook Raygen up to her o2 monitor last night and her heart rate seemed high.  Her 02 was still in the 80's which was reassuring but her heart rate was really freaking us out.  I felt like it wasn't bad enough to rush her to the ER, especially when the first ER I would take her to is Seattle (4 hours away.)  So needless to say I didn't get much sleep last night.  I was so worried about her.  I am worried that her airway may be compromised because her breathing pattern has changed.  I am worried about her heart rate, but it could be high because she has a cold.  I am so worried about this cold not going away.  Thank God Raygen has had no temp, but still the fear just nags at me. 
Reality is a scary thing.  My heart is aching.  I felt like I got a big slap in the face wake up call reminding me that I can't let my guard down.  I need to always be on the look out for changes with Raygen especially because her life and safety depends on it.  We are taking her to see Dr. Polley today and also have a call into Dr. Park.  At this point I don't feel like Raygen is in any danger, but she could use some prayers.  I am just scared.