Monday, September 5, 2011

Long Weekend

We have had a nice relaxing weekend. Grandma Dorothy made this super cute shirt for Raygen, I love it! Zoie has been gone all weekend. She spent the night with Grandma Lori on Saturday and Grandma Dorothy last night. Raygen has been her normal happy self. I am getting nervous and excited that maybe tomorrow I will have some dates for Raygen's procedures coming up. I feel the longer we wait the higher risk for Raygen catching another cold or something. The thought of another cold terrifies me. It is such a pretty day here today. The news said it should be in the 80's. I wish I could take Raygen outside or to the park. I pray that I can do that next summer. I also need to thank Aunt Brenda for the wonderful floor toy for Raygen. She loves it. It is the cutest thing to see her playing. Raygen has also started laughing and I will try to get a video of her but whenever I get it ready she turns camera shy on me, lol! It is the most precious thing to watch.

I was doing some thinking this weekend about a question someone aske me. They asked me if I ever ask "why me?" and the answer is no. As I look at Raygen I wouldn't change a thing about her because if I did then she wouldn't be Raygen. I do ask "why not me?" I prayed and prayed when I was pregnant to let me be sick. Let me go through all of this for her and just let Raygen be okay. Let me get poked 6 times for blood and 11 times for an iv that doesn't last 24hours. It is the hardest thing ever in my life to watch my beautiful baby go through so much and I can't do anything about it. It's too late to wish it was me because it is what it is now. I pray now that God keeps me strong for Raygen and that he protects and watches over her. I do my best that I can to comfort Raygen and be the best mom ever to her and I pray that in the next few weeks that God protects her and helps us through the cath, g tube, and glenn and that we can come back home more stable and healthy then when we left.