Thursday, April 4, 2013

We Canceled...


Well after a very long talk with my husband and after calling both Nero and Raygen's Cardio doc we decided to cancel Raygen's MRI for the 10th.  She is just so happy right now and doing so good and we know that doing the MRI would just set her back.  After any procedure Raygen takes a few steps back in the develop area.  It takes Raygen a long time to let go of the fear she felt during the procedure and she becomes less active and very quite for a few days to weeks.  I know you wouldn't think a two year old would hang on to something for so long, but trust me, Raygen is so different for a long time after being messed with.  If this was an easy procedure and she didn't have to have an iv or be sedated we would still go through with, but it isn't easy, nothing is ever easy for her.  Randy and I both know that sometime down the line we will do an MRI of Raygen's brain but we don't feel like it is medically necessary at this moment.  We have discussed maybe rescheduling toward the end of the summer.  Dr. Park also stated he didn't really need the MRI of her heart and felt she could go till December before she needs a lung scan again.  To say I am relieved that next week will be like any ole' week around here is the truth.  I know I can't always cancel everything that Raygen will have to go through, but this time I can and I did.  Nothing the MRI shows right now will change anything.  We will love Raygen the same and her treatment will be the same so whether I know today or a year from now I am comfortable with my decision. 
Raygen is just growing up so fast.  She isn't walking, talking, or even crawling, but she will, all in her own time.  She scoots on her booty around the house now, she loves kisses and hugs, she loves Elmo and Supper Why and she loves to play in her new ball pit and most of all loves taking a bath.  Raygen is such a pleasure to care for.  Before I was Raygen's mom I was a push over and I never said "no" and I pretty much went along for the ride, but that isn't the case anymore.  I trust my gut feeling and I am not scared to tell you "no" and I won't do something just because someone tells me I should.  Raygen has changed me and so many other people and as her mom my goal is to give this special girl the best life possible.  So lucky for us, I said no, and we get another month of peace :0)  We do have some doctor appointments but nothing painful so tonight I will rest easy knowing I trust my decision.