Tuesday, October 11, 2011

One week from today

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to Sarah and everyone who has signed up to pray for Raygen on surgery day, October 18th. I can't put into words how much all your love, support, and prayers have helped our family and especially our beautiful Raygen. Thank you. Thank you.
Raygen got lots of relaxing in this weekend. I think she is in a Toy Story daze in this picture. Trust me parents Toy Story works magic.

Raygen's new thing is to pull her hair. She does it even when she isn't mad, lol! But when she does get mad watch out because she usually takes a hand full with her.

Raygen and Zoie got some good sister time yesterday. So very important to both of them.

I can't believe that this time next week I will be sitting in the Children's ICU waiting room waiting to see how my daughters 2nd open heart surgery goes. My heart is filled with so much sadness. I am sad that Raygen has to go through all of this and I'm sad that she has to experience so much pain and discomfort. I hope when she is older she won't remember any of this. The only hard part is that I will. I'm scared, but who wouldn't be I guess? I know there is no way we can avoid the surgeries or the hospital trips but it by no means make them any easier. I find myself crying all the time lately and I know it's because I don't want to go back. I don't want to give my child over and loose control. When your in the hospital especially the icu you don't get to be the "mom" you are at home and I hate that part the worst. I know Raygen will be okay. I know in my heart Raygen will be fine especially with all the love and support she has. I guess the only positive about doing surgery next week is hopefully we will be home and healed by the holidays. I can't wait to celebrate the holidays with my family of 4. This year will be different because we will probably spend most our time at home but it will be wonderful no matter what. I know I have to remember that Raygen is so strong and that she is so healthy and such a fighter that she can make it through anything. One week from today I will be a mess that is a fact but my daughter will be a survivor and if she can can do it so can I. Amazing how a beautiful 7month old baby can be my finding grace, bring me closer to God, to my husband, to Zoie, she is half the heart that makes our family complete.

I had to post this picture. Raygen snoozing with Grandpa. So cute.