Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Waiting....









I hate waiting. I have absolutely no patience what so ever but in this case I could wait forever. I should get the phone call today or tomorrow with the date for Raygen's next surgery. I want the date to prepare but I also don't want the date because I am so scared. I know everyone says the Glenn is much easier then the Norwood but this is Raygen's Glenn and as you all know Raygen's journey so far has been anything but easy. I know that after the surgery Raygen will be more stable heart wise and we can put all our focus on getting rid of the trach which is exciting but being in the hospital and seeing her in so much pain scares me. I hate seeing her in pain and not being able to do anything about it. My emotions lately are all over the place ranging from "lets just get it done" to "No way I'm not ready." I know we have no choice without the surgery Raygen could not survive long, she is already out growing her shunt and you can see it in her Oxygen Sats. I know when we get the the call for surgery we will have to load up our beautiful baby and head to the hospital. We will have to trust the doctors, surgeons, and nurses to work another miracle on our Raygen. We have been trying to spend a lot of family time together lately. This weekend it was just me and the girls and it was wonderful. I love seeing Zoie and Raygen together. Zoie and Raygen love each other so much you can see it in the way they look at each other. Zoie is such a good helper she loves helping with Raygen. Zoie has decided that her and Raygen would be Jesse this year from Toy Story for Halloween. Raygen loves Toy Story and watches it all the time. I will have the cutest "Jesse's" in town. Raygen has a cardio doc appointment on Thursday and Zoie will also be getting her flu shot, please pray that it all goes well. Also please pray for Raygen's heart friends Emma who is healing from her Glenn, Aiden who has his heart cath on Friday and so many more. Also, please pray for my neice Taylor who had a bad bicycle crash on Friday and broke and fractured her jaw and had oral surgery yesterday and has to have her jaw wired shut for 6 weeks. God has blessed us in so many ways and he is an awesome God. God is good, always.