Sunday, October 5, 2014
Raygen and her cold.
love the Joel Osteen quote "God will not give you more then you can handle. If you face a big challenge, you have a big destiny." That says exactly how I feel about Raygen. She has a huge destiny ahead of her. When Raygen gets sick it is such a reminder of how frail she truly is. She is no where near her pre-surgery weight. All I see on her now is bones. She is so tiny that these little colds just could so easily turn into something so much worse for her. She will always be this way unfortunately. I think that is what most people forget. Raygen will always have half a heart. Raygen's doctor once explained it to me in simple terms as to the effect of putting a spare tire on your car. The spare may buy you a few weeks but a spare is not a guaranteed fix. Raygen's heart repairs are her spare. We pray everyday that her fix will give her years and years of a happy, healthy, and normal as can be life, but just like with a spare tire no one can every give you a guarantee. Well and the hard part about this weekend has also been that I have gotten sick. So my poor husband has had to be care giver for both of us. It seems to appear Raygen is shaking off her cold and is tolerating food in small volumes and I have even heard her laughing again, but me on the other hand is having a little harder time. It's so hard because who do you want when you don't feel good? Mom, right? So Miss Raygen scoots down the hall to me in the bedroom all day long wanting to make sure I'm home and then wants to snuggle to play. It's so hard to take a step back from her when I'm sick, but I have to. I don't think I ever truly realized how hard it was to be a parent. Zoie has always been so healthy. I just always assumed that was how it was. I guess having Raygen made me realize just how precious our children and just life is all together. I am just always so thankful for each and everyday I have especially with my children and I honestly can say I don't think I would be if it wasn't for Raygen and her half a heart. It is amazing how watching your child fight for everything, every breath, every heart beat, every ounce of life that we have so easily can really make you realize how truly amazing life is. I believe there is a higher power watching, caring, and loving us because I have seen miracles first hand and especially because I'm a mother to two of them.
Raygen if she is feeling better will go to the doctor on Thursday for an X-ray, ekg, blood work, and echo. Please pray everything goes well. She has been a week almost on her normal diet and so far I think she is doing pretty good, but I have no idea what her x-ray will show.
Thank you to everyone for all your love, support, and prayers. We are truly blessed to have so many people care for Raygen and take the time to pray for her. God Bless you all.